


Memories

by nerdlife4eva



Series: Nerd's Chasing Gold Zine Story [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Olympics, Angst and Feels, Coach Victor Nikiforov, Fear, Flashbacks, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Injury Recovery, Loss of Faith, Loss of Limbs, Major Character Injury, Olympics, Overthinking, Paralympics, Permanent Injury, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdlife4eva/pseuds/nerdlife4eva
Summary: The night before Yuri and Victor leave for the Paralympics, Victor's sleepless mind keeps him awake with memories of the past.





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> The FIFTH piece leading up the the final story which will be part of the YOI Chasing Gold Zine! Pre-orders for this zine are OPEN and the others stories along with the art are definitely worth the money! Please visit the [blog on Tumblr](https://yoichasinggoldzine.tumblr.com) to place your order today!! 
> 
> If you would like to come talk about this AU or anything to do with YOI, please come find me on Tumblr: [n3rdlif343va](https://n3rdlif343va.tumblr.com)

The suitcases were propped by the front door. Yuri’s bike stood in the middle of the living room, shining and waiting to be slipped into its protective bag. Plane tickets were tucked in the front of Victor’s carry on, along with the USB drive containing Yuri’s medical history and copies of every document that Victor had completed on Yuri’s behalf. Everything was tagged, organized and ready for their early morning departure.

Alone in the darkness of his own bedroom, Victor stared at the ceiling as he mentally reviewed their list and schedule for the following day. He had memorized every detail, yet he couldn’t tell his brain it was time to shut down for sleep. Apprehension and worry weighed heavier on him than the down blanket covering his body on the bed.

He owed Yuri victory. He owed Yuri his time and his care. He owed Yuri distinctive proof that his life and career weren’t over. Not out of any obligation dictated by his place as Yuri’s coach, but out of the love that he held for the young man, deep-seated and unspoken within his heart. And out of his own guilt, which still wallowed in his stomach like a lurking beast waiting to devour him.

Groaning, Victor rolled onto his side, burying his face into his pillow. No matter what Yuri said, Victor knew that Yuri had gone to the lake because Victor had trained there. He had gone alone, returning wet and gloating when Yakov got to him in the parking lot of their training facility. Victor had stood idly by, distracted by his own departure for what would be inevitably his last performance in the world’s most prestigious competition. He hadn’t known that at the time, just as he hadn’t known that the minuscule cut across Yuri’s shin had introduced deadly bacteria into his body.

Lying on his stomach, Victor gripped his pillow, fists clenching and unclenching. He had left Russia with Yakov, last seeing Yuri’s back disappearing into the locker rooms moving with the jaunty walk of the young teenager he was. All was quiet until the night after Victor’s race. When his phone rang, the world stopped spinning, and Victor had thrown all of his belongings into the closest bags. He raced from his room, his vision tunneled to the tragedy happening at home.

No matter how hard he tried, Victor couldn’t erase the image of Yuri, small and frail in the middle of the sterile hospital room. By the time he had reached St. Petersburg, Yakov leading the way through the long hallways filled with the smell of people balanced between life and death, Yuri’s leg had already been amputated and the antibiotics had begun to fight the remaining threats of infection. Yuri was asleep for three days, worn out from his body’s battle to save its own life.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Victor tried to will away the threat of the memory, but it came to him anyway.

_“Yura, listen to the doctor,” Yakov said, placing a firm hand on Yuri’s arm to try to calm his thrashing. Yuri had been awake for less than thirty minutes and all hell was breaking loose. Victor leaned against the window, Mila standing at his side, both of them wishing that they didn’t have to watch Yuri’s life shatter._

_“Fuck the doctor,” Yuri spat, clawing the oxygen tubes from his nose and throwing the hollow plastic to the ground. Victor winced, letting his shoulders sink as he felt Mila press closer to his side. “He stole my fucking leg.” To emphasize his point, Yuri threw back the bed covers, revealing his leg which now ended at his knee._

_“The removal of that portion of your leg was necessary to save your life,” the doctor took a deep breath, maintaining eye contact with Yuri as he continued, “before you leave here, you will be fitted with a prosthesis. You will walk again and you will live. In this situation you are very lucky.”_

_Rage ripping from Yuri in a primal scream, he grabbed the tissue box on his roll away tray and threw it against the wall. The sharp thud made everyone in the room jump, with the exception of the doctor. “I’m a triathlete with no leg. If I can’t compete, then I have no life. You should have let me die.”_

Tears soaked through the fabric covering Victor’s pillow. When the anger had passed, Yuri had become nothing but a shell, a ghost of the fiery person he had always been. Victor had gone to the hospital every day, sitting quietly in the room with a book in his lap, never asking the questions that everyone else did. He saw Yuri leave for physical therapy and return, only to unhook and drop his new leg to the ground, without expression or feeling. Yuri hadn’t died from the infection, but his spirit had.

One day Victor had run late for his visit. His head had finally cleared of the emotional fog and he had attempted to catch up on the remaining results from the games he had so abruptly abandoned. Yuuri’s retirement announcement glared at him from the screen of his laptop, flipping his world upside down for the second time in ten days. Scanning the article with a shaky hand on his touchpad, he picked up only on the key details. Yuuri had retired the morning after Victor had left the athlete’s compound, information that made Victor’s stomach sour instantly. A week later, an announcement was made that Yuuri would be coaching Paralympic hopeful Kenjirou Minami.

With thoughts of Yuuri and his abrupt change in career path, Victor had walked into Yuri’s hospital room, mind halfway somewhere else. The shouts slamming off the walls had immediately gained his full attention. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who had stumbled upon the idea of redirecting Yuri’s training. The fight occurring in front of him centered on Yakov stating his inability to coach Yuri and Yuri screaming at his former coach for abandoning him.

Victor remembered making his offer at a volume barely above a whisper. He didn’t know anything about being a coach, but he also refused to continue his own career if it meant competing without Yuuri Katsuki. Yakov had thrown up his hands and dragged Victor backwards from the room, barking about Victor throwing away his life.

His decision to coach Yuri had never felt like that though. He had poured through every book and medical journal he could find in order to develop a training regimen for Yuri. He had purchased Yuri’s modified bike with his own money and found a sponsor to pay for the specialized prosthesis that Yuri wore to race. When Yuri had shown up on his doorstep, duffle bag and two trash bags filled with clothes sitting beside him, Victor had welcomed him in without hesitation.

Rolling over again, Victor returned to his spot staring at the ceiling. It no longer mattered why Victor had offered to coach Yuri or why Yuri had accepted the offer. They were a partnership, a coach and an athlete fighting for one goal. Until Yuri lowered himself into the water. Then Victor would have to stand back, he would have to let Yuri go and pray that all the training was enough to carry him through to gold. All of the confidence Victor had felt before his own races was missing now, leaving him only with trepidation and desperate silent pleas for Yuri’s success. He would turn in all of his gold medals, if only to give Yuri this one.

Sighing, Victor forced his eyes closed feeling the tears catch on his eyelashes. Wordlessly, he begged his mind to quiet and finally let him sleep.

Down the hallway, Yuri laid in his bed, cat draped over his chest, wondering if tomorrow was the beginning or the ending of his life. With silent tears rolling down his face, Yuri closed his eyes as exhaustion overtook him.

**Author's Note:**

> A very special thank you to my "haut" beta [atelerixe](https://atelerixe.tumblr.com). Really, A is the best person I know and she deserves all the love for making me look like an intelligent human!


End file.
